


i wish i could do better by you (cause that's what you deserve.)

by serenitysea



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sadness, these feels are nothing we were ever trained for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3984850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenitysea/pseuds/serenitysea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the anon on tumblr who asked: <i>5 times grant almost died in front of skye and one time he did</i>.</p><p>that's it. that's the whole fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i wish i could do better by you (cause that's what you deserve.)

**Author's Note:**

> BUCKLE UP, KIDS. 
> 
> THIS ONE IS GONNA HURT.

1\. 

skye gets her hands on the berserker staff. 

it runs through her veins like liquid fire and promises beautiful rage without consequence. her eyes are black with violence and her arms outstretched, seeking a target with too much accuracy to miss.

ward is on his knees. he sees the darkness overtaking her and it rips at him like someone clawing out his heart. it takes everything he’s got to stagger to his feet and wait for may to distract skye. 

it takes _everything_ he’s got to wrench the staff away from her. 

it nearly kills him. 

*

2.

garrett asks him, “is there anything on this plane you don’t want them to get their hands on?”

and ward knows – he _knows_ – it’s a weakness. _knows_ it’s going to cost him, even as his eyes are darting over to where skye is crouched on the ground, staring up at them owlishly. 

she has no idea that she’s his death sentence. 

(he has no idea how true that is.)

*

3\. 

he kills thomas nash. 

it wasn’t just career suicide, it was letting his emotions get the best of him. it was showing just how _deeply_ skye had affected him. it was revealing to everyone how much of a weakness she had become. 

when garrett knocks him around before he leaves for providence, he goes after his kidneys in such a way that there’s blood when he uses the restroom. 

simmons patches him up like an artist carefully restoring a priceless canvas; meticulously undoing all of john’s handiwork. 

she doesn’t know about the internal bleeding. 

actually, if he hadn’t killed koenig and gotten nicked in the side by some flailing last-ditch effort by the man – he probably wouldn’t have known about it either. 

it’s kind of fitting, though. 

a life for a life, and all. 

(he doesn’t find out until much later that skye discovering koenig’s body murdered any last vestige of agent grant ward.)

*

4.

he’s gotten them into one _hell_ of a mess. 

her biological father is very probably insane and she’s just found out that her mother was cut into _pieces_ and she’s not exactly in the mood to let bygones be bygones. 

still –

– the bullets rip into his side like the freight train you never saw coming and he doesn’t know who is more shocked by the time the dust settles. 

she doesn’t stick around to watch him bleed out. 

(he doesn’t know if that’s good or bad.)

*

5\. 

the bus is exploding over their heads. 

may is expertly piloting them in a cloaked quinjet and they’re surely descending into the pits of hell itself on a mission that shouldn’t be allowed – much less _attended_ by a broken group such as their motley family crew. 

his seatbelt hasn’t latched in all the way and somehow there’s a loading gate not totally closed – their exit from the bus hadn’t exactly been _smooth_ – and he’s scrambling for purchase, for _anything_ to hang on to and not plummet to his death.

he feels a weird _boost_ of something – must have been a result from the firestorm above them – knock him back into the jumpseat and then he’s fastening the restraint with barely concealed shaking hands. 

no one notices his near-miss and skye is too busy looking the other way to even care. 

( _so **that’s** what happened in puerto rico._ )

but what he really means is: 

( _so that’s what happened when i nearly fell out of the quinjet._ )

*

+1. 

they tell her: _cut off one head two more shall take its place_

she tells them that she’s not big into regeneration. 

they smile with razor sharp teeth and drag him out in front of her. 

he’s seen better days, in all honesty. there are cuts and bruises and broken fragmented bones layered in and under his skin that it’s hard to tell where the punishment ends and the man begins. 

( _but then, hasn’t that always been the way for grant douglas ward?_ )

she lifts her chin and raises an eyebrow. _that the best you can do_?

and he knows – he _knows_ – that this time, his efforts won’t have been in vain. this is one set of his plans that haven’t gone horribly awry. as bleak as it seems, this can still be salvaged. skye doesn’t realise it yet but he’s managed to gather the remnants of hydra in one place and they’re here now and –

– the bullet severs his spinal column immediately. 

(he never sees her kill every last man standing without so much as touching them.)

(he never hears her scream of rage as it tears through their chests and rips out their hearts.)

(he’ll never know that he was the catalyst to end the war.)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> \+ [tumblr](http://b-isforbombshell.tumblr.com)  
> \+ i’m not even sorry.   
> \+ title and lyrics from the girl by city & colour


End file.
